Thursday, April 23, 2015

Gems from "Great is Thy Faithfulness" Hymn

It was last February when I blogged about still waiting of my pregnancy after series of medical helps. I'm still waiting and though, I think, disappointments intensify as I feel those very familiar pain in my tummy month after month, GOD's grace abounds all the more to reach me in my deepest pit. 

God did again just today. After praying, my husband Bernard called for words he knows I need and then this hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness, plays in my cellphone. The song appears to be so new to me that it pushes me for a meditation and be strengthened again. Below are the gems I found:

Who are You today, God?
The GOD I met in the Old Testament
The GOD I read in the New Testament
Still the same GOD I behold today
Never will I turn my back away from You
You are the same yesterday, today and forever

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

What do I have today, God?
Never I lack of things I need in my existence
Your unfathomable wisdom guides my provision
By your new mercies every morning You bestow them to me
What I have today, I trust and thank Thee
These are the things You know I need; thus, enough for me

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Who are with me today, God?
Your Word tells me that heavens declare Your glory
The nature never gets weary demonstrating Your power
Birds in the sky never get hungry; newborn wilds are nursed by You
Unseen hence unappreciated beautiful creations still sing of Your love
I will then join in their mighty chorus in adoration of You

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Can I still hold on today, God?
You delighted to be called my Emmanuel, my GOD who is with us
Why then is my soul downcast within me? Rise and feel His presence
Amidst this scourging storm, be still and know GOD
Can I think of a day He left my side to comfort and cheer me up?
Praise be to God, the God of all comfort who never leaves His child

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Friday, February 27, 2015

I Will Worship while I Wait

Just last week, Feb 20, I was given an honor to lecture about "Wonders of Worshiping while Waiting" among youths in our district. Though the title of this post seems to be like that, I will delay my post about that lecture for the meantime for I wanna testify first about what is happening to me lately.

Last December 8, 2013 I blogged about learning the conditions of my reproductive organs and the surgery I will undergo. Then on December 1, 2014, I posted about the recurrence of the blockage in my right fallopian tube nine months after I underwent that surgery. I was then advised to pray that I should conceive not later than February 2015 or else, dysmennorhea may thicken my uterus lining again (thus, worsening my endometriosis and adenomyosis) and may even welcome again the chocolate cysts in my right ovary.

Series of ultrasound are done to monitor my follicle development and I was given much hope whenever I am positive for follicles with or without the help of Letrozole. I was advised to take Mefenamic or Ibuprofen to minimize if not eradicate the pain during menstruation. And even though, month after month I was undergoing the cycle of hope and disappointment, GOD's grace envelopes my heart all throughout. Thank GOD I am His child and I have the Father in heaven who is ever there to soothe my heart  when it encounters raging storms.

Tonight is different from my previous experiences. Usually, two days before my menstruation, I am warned by dysmenorrhea. I usually have my period on my 27th or 28th day of my cycle. And for this month, on my 26th, I was already anxious of what would happen on my 27th. I experienced nothing. I was not sure whether I should be happy or not. Morning of my 28th, still nothing. And here comes around lunchtime, I called my husband for a pain I felt and when I got home for lunch that time, there was already some little spotting. So I prepared myself for another period.

However, no more blood flowed after that spotting. Though there was this minimal pain, I don't know whether I already need to take med or the spotting was not menstruation (ma-feeling me). On my 29th, today, I experienced the worst dysmenorrhea I ever had. This pain actually accompanies me while I'm penning this.

Tomorrow is February 28, the last day of February and the deadline set by my OB-Gyn for conception. I don't know what awaits me for tomorrow. I haven't seen my OB for almost two months and I don't even have an idea of her next move. And this pain triggers my heart to fear what could be happening inside my uterus, tubes and ovaries at this moment.

There are too many "what if's" my mind is composing now. I remembered a prayer I uttered during the early morning of my 28th: "If this is it, Lord, I am too excited on how will I thank you. Maybe I couldn't find my words to express my appreciation of you." This prayer was uttered with imagination of massaging my tummy lightly.

And tonight, GOD has put a new prayer in my heart: "Whatever is the lot You will give me, LORD, I don't want to wait for that gift in order for me to express an unspeakable gratitude and worship. May my heart learn to do that while I'm still waiting."

There are times I really do imagine the joy I will feel when I think of God blessing me. I even plan how I am going to glorify God and how I am going to testify to others about God's graciousness. Why wait for that time to come and why not develop that worship in anytime of the day and in any situation I am into?

Resolved therefore that I will worship God while I'm waiting:

and that I will always remind my heart to be still and know GOD (Psalm 46:10)

Copyright His Beloved 2011.