Friday, March 9, 2012

Not Unto Us, Not Unto Us

Mighty in power, Sovereignly He reigns
When He thunders, the earth shakes
And by His touch, He soothes my stone heart

He found me blinded by the world's romantic schemes
What an incomparable beauty I see, though these are just Your Majesty's beams
Glory and majesty, show me more of Your glory
My heart was so satisfied, I faced no worry

Year after year You never fail, my GOD, to excite me
You even gave me a Bestfriend, a co-warrior in this journey
But from time to time, I try to make it on my own
So you also gave me a Discipler to immerse me on Your Word

Much of the knowledge, I need to also have the heart
So I was given a Father so discipline won't be so hard
But what is Biblical womanhood without a man?
So I desire to have one as You taught me Proverbs 31

But this heart is so deceitful, it started to man-hunt
But the more I looked, the more pain I got
And when my heart was enveloped with unbelief and anxiety
You always tell me, "Delight yourself in Me"

May this poem testify my foolish actions
Whenever "Is there really one for me?" I question
For in time I gave up this "impossible mission"
There you told me to untie my gift's ribbon

Oh, how could I've been so fool looking around
Waiting and be depressed in this chain I made myself bound
And was it not a year ago when I was too overwhelm and in awe
For back way in past eternity, you already had that gift prepared for me

And for twelve months, you did never depart from us
You even let us enjoy You together with this new passion and convictions
"Not unto us, not unto us", may it stay so true in our hearts
And I love thy Bernard for he loves You, my Lord, that much

Three Decades of God's Faithfulness: A Reflection

When I was just a recent convert, one of the songs I love to sing is Steve Kuban's Hallowed Be Thy Name (lyrics here). This song taught me some of the Names of God and their meanings. Names found in this song are very true in my three decades of existence.

"The LORD will provide" (Genesis 22:14)

I can't count the times whenever I'm in need and then blessings come my way. I seldom buy my stuffs; they just come to me when I need them. God's providence in my life is truly remarkable that everytime I count His blessings I always stand in awe and lost in counting.

One of the greatest gift God has given me was on this day last year, I finally met my Godsend. Who would have expected that? Last night, I was scanning my journals and they can testify the cycle of struggles in waiting and the contentment/satisfaction with being single. And God has indeed provided me Bernard.

"The LORD is my Shepherd" (Psalm 23:1)

I can not forget the illustration of the faithful shepherd - he is someone who leads the sheep their way, draws them back to the line with his staff if ever they are wandering off, pastures them in the greenest and safest place and is willing to risk his life when predators are near.

I am always safe and secure because the LORD is indeed my Shepherd.

"The LORD Is Peace" (Judges 6:24)

Gideon felt the doom when he saw the angel; but the LORD assured him he would not die. And how can I fathom how Christ made me at peace with God (Ephesians 2:14) and how peace that transcends understanding guards my heart (Philippians 4:7)? Oh, His mercy and goodness is indeed beyond understanding! But I know it well that my heart is always at peace in His presence and all I can say is BLESSED BE YOUR NAME, my LORD!


"I am the LORD, your healer" (Exodus 15:26)

I have thoracic dextroscoliosis. I was almost not admitted in UP Baguio because they fear that Baguio's climate might harm me. I am not totally healed from this illness yet the Lord spares me from pain and suffering. I have heard people complaining about back pains but God is too good, He is sooooo good to me. He is my Jehovah Rohi.

Two instances that my loved ones were spared too. My mother almost died giving birth to our youngest. We were told by the doctor that we needed to choose between her and the baby, it was January 18th, Sunday. While I was in the church, praising God and laying at His feet my troubled heart, Mama gave birth safely. A year after, my father needed surgery in his brain. We had to transfer him from Pangasinan General Hospital to Baguio but we were warned (and tortured, I guess) that he might not be able to make the transfer. That incident happened just few months before I entered college. I am working now for about eight years, my Papa is still with us.

Those were the years that God is so real in my life. I can never and will never doubt His workings in my life. He is alive and He is real! My Jehovah Rohi, He really heals!


"The LORD is our righteousness" (Jeremiah 23:6)

...the Son of God only is; who is become so by his obedience to the law, and by bearing the penalty of it; and who, having been delivered for our offences, rose again for our justification: and this righteousness, which he has wrought out to the satisfaction of law and justice, becomes "ours"; it being signed for us, and wrought out for us, by a free gift of it is given to us; ours through the imputation of it to us by the Father, and in virtue of our union to Christ, and interest in him; and through the application of it to us by the Spirit of God; who puts it upon us, and clothes us with it, and enables us to lay hold upon it, and claim interest in it... (John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible)

I am righteous in the sight of GOD because Christ's righteousness has become mine. Blessed be Your Name, my Jehovah Tsidkenu!

"I am the LORD who sanctifies" (Leviticus 20:8)

Looking back at my life before God found me, I will really shrink in shame. Never ask me how I start to look for and love GOD; I really don't know. Thank be to His grace that He works in me so I can see Him; otherwise, I am not Christian until now. Never can I see myself at that such filthiness and stone-hearted state to desire God. God did not just change me; He is continually purifying and sanctifying me. Bernard and I can't help to cry whenever we talk about how the grace of GOD continually transforms us. My Jehovah M'Kaddesh, glory unto You alone! He is the one who purifies me, sanctifies me.

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. (1Thessalonians 5:23 )

"The LORD is my Banner" (Exodus 17:15)

I can never forget how this Name calmed my heart. Tired of the battle, hopeless for SCC-UMYF's renewal...lowered my sword, cried my heart out during Steve Kuban's concert. Everybody is rejoicing but I am in the middle of them, crushed and defeated. The LORD upheld me and I am not sure if Bernard can still remember that on that day, he was given unto me as my partner in ministry, a blessing to SCC-UMYFP. The battle is won, I can say. Seeing these young people grow in the knowledge of God made me stand in awe! And though there are more battles ahead of us, that incident has taught me lesson I will never forget. My GOD is victorious until the end and He is my Banner!

"The LORD Is There" (Ezekiel 48:35)

My God is Omnipresent! I can not hide from Him and wherever I will be, He is always there for me. Looking back again during my father's operation in Baguio, my friends Maridol and Bernard had no idea where I was and what we were up to. I needed someone to at least hold on to but I got no one. I tried to call any of them but I was unable to do so. My mother told me first of her need for support; I was not even given a chance to tell her how I felt also. Nobody was there but there was peace and the courage I couldn't explain; the Lord was there with me. He is always there with me.

These are not enough to testify God's goodness and faithfulness in my life for the past three decades. I am here crying as I draft this reflection. Oh, how blessed I am to be loved by You, my LORD! Hallowed be Thy Name!

What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention. (Job 7:17)

What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? (Psalm 8:4)
Copyright His Beloved 2011.