Redefining Beauty and Strength in a World That Redefined Them Already

Last Friday (October 29), I was able to attend a debut party of a friend. I was there as one of the 18 candles, meaning as one of those who would render a message for the debutant. I am not that acquainted with the debutant; in fact, I was surprised to know that I was on the list. The debutant is my best friend's niece and her mother was my first Vacation Bible School (VBS) teacher - both or either could be the reason why I was there. I knew what to say that time but I was grasping for a more personal message. So I started my speech about her mother and the unfading beauty I saw more than two decades ago. Yes, I may not know her that much but I am confident with the mother who raised her up.

After that, I can't help to think of how valuable are the roles of mothers (or even older women) in shaping their kids; moreover, in influencing young women's way of thinking in a "modernized"/feminized world. There are many views that corrupt the Biblical definition of a woman. If not for the guidance of a godly mother or a godly older woman, they may be embracing how women nowadays define beauty and display strength.

Beauty - an individually pleasing or beautiful quality; grace; charm (dictionary.com)

This is one of the most abused words among women. Beauty is measured by crowns, titles, admirers or even boys. But I Peter 3:3-4 says that your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Do not desire the charm that the Scriptures say is deceptive nor the beauty that is vain (Proverbs 31:30). For more about this imperishable beauty, click here.

Jay Adams puts it this way:

A vital Christian, radiating that hidden beauty of the heart, is more attractive to the right sort of Christian man (the only kind you want) than the raving beauty who is hollow within. A woman who is developing her domestic abilities, who is reasonably attractive, and who is a vital Christian in her own right is an irresistible person.

Strength - the quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor (dictionary.com)

A woman defines strength when she is able to par if not to surpass that of men's. I received a text message which says that the LOUD VOICE of a man really shocks and threatens a woman...but, the SILENCE of a woman tremendously shakes the consciousness of a man.

However, Titus 2:3-5 says: Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God (emphasis mine).

Strength is not the ability to display the power over those viewed as superior than you, it is not the ability to control your situation or control a man. Strength is best displayed in domesticity. Carolyn Mahaney says that domesticity - devotion to the quality of home life - is an essential facet of femininity. Looking for some quotations about domesticity, I encountered this Harriet Spofford who says that if a woman is not fit to manage the internal matters of a house, she is fit for nothing, and should never be put in a house or over a house, any way.

This is the strength of Biblical women and the strength of the women of reformation (a term I learned referring to the wives/mothers of those men of reformation). Nancy Leigh DeMoss explains:

“In contrast to the wise woman, the foolish woman is not content to be a keeper at home. She is not satisfied with where God has put her. One of the things the feminist movement has done so successfully is to stir up discontent in women with being homemakers and to convince them that other pursuits can increase their sense of self-worth… Fueling discontent and pushing women out of their homes in search of greater meaning and satisfaction has resulted in off-the-chart stress levels for many women who can no longer survive without pills and therapists… The greatest spiritual, moral, and emotional protection a woman will ever experience is found when she is content to stay within her God-appointed sphere. This does not mean that she never leaves her house, but rather that her heart is rooted in her home and that she puts her family’s needs above all other interests and pursuits.”

Remember Martin Luther when he says that earth has nothing more tender than a woman’s heart when it is the abode of piety. What kind of woman are you? Are you one of those who struggle to show that you are one of the most beautiful women? Are you one of those who cry "girl power" and demand the exhibition of your greater ability than men's? Or are you a different woman?

The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian,but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.

Those are words of Elisabeth Elliot. Are you a different woman?

Why Women Love Jerks

(This is just an adapted article from Girls Gone Wise. I re-posted it here to share among those who read my blog and I really love the article.)


Why Women Love Jerks
(by Gabrielle Pickle)

I had coffee, recently, with a girl who was in a serious relationship with a young man who was guilty of “cheating” on her by secretly seeing other women behind her back. I encouraged her to break up with him. “Oh, but he’s such a great guy! He really loves Jesus!” was her response.

Are you kidding me? That’s not even remotely true. This young woman wasn’t thinking rationally. Great guys who love Jesus don’t cheat on their women. PERIOD.

It was this encounter I thought of when I came across Gabrielle Pickle’s article, “Why Women Love Jerks.” When it comes to romance, many women are so needy, and get emotionally enmeshed so quickly, that they throw their brains out the window. They foolishly make excuses and rationalize giving their hearts away to guys who are jerks.

In the article, Gabrielle gives two great checklists from Proverbs that outline the characteristics of men who are jerks and men who are gems. If you’re wise, you’ll listen up and guard your heart. Don’t give it to a jerk. Save it for a gem.

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Read the whole article here:

Jesus Lived a Life of Prayer

The Bible records how God moved whenever His people come into their knees. When Sennacherib, king of Assyria, threatened king Hezekiah and his kingdom, the latter king tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and went into the temple of the Lord (II Kings 19:1). Furthermore, when he received a letter from his oppressors, he spread the letter before the Lord and prayed earnestly for God’s deliverance. And indeed God delivered him and his kingdom. Hannah was so desperate for not bearing a child and her despair was intensified whenever Peninnah provoke her. I Samuel 1:10 says that she was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly. God answered her prayer. King Xerxes spared the life of Esther though she approached him even without summoning her. That is not because of her charisma but because Jews prayed for God’s intervention (Esther 3 &4).

The Bible has more examples of how God answers prayer. But prayer is more than letting God know our needs (besides He already knows them before words come out of our mouth). For A. W. Pink real prayer is communion with God, so that there will be common thoughts between His mind and ours. What is needed is for Him to fill our hearts with His thoughts, and then His desires will become our desires flowing back to Him.

If we want to imitate someone who lived a life of prayer, there is no one else who has done that than Jesus. The following are the thoughts of my meditation and some I owe to Pastor Paul Washer:

• Jesus prays to know and do the will of the Father. (see Luke 6: 12; Matthew 26:36)

Jesus knew who will be his disciples just as much as He knew those He has chosen even before the creation of the world (Eph.1:4). Yet in this text it says that Jesus prayed overnight then in the morning He chose His 12 disciples. And then in the book of Matthew, Jesus earnestly prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane hours before His arrest. He prayed if it is possible to take the cup away from Him yet He prayed for the will of the Father be done.

Jesus wrestled in prayer. Jesus spent much of His time in prayer. Jesus who is God-man is a man of prayer. We are only humans with natures so much attached to sin and to this world yet we often neglect praying.

Isn’t it a great rebuke to us that we belittle the value of prayer especially during times of seeking the will of God?

• Jesus prays to commune with the Father. (see Matthew 14:23)

I always hope for holidays most especially whenever I know that there are lots of works to be done. I always utter that I need a break. But that is not the case for Jesus. After working for the whole day, He preferred to be with His Father. He went up by the mountainside to pray and He was there alone – alone with His Father.

Isn’t it a great rebuke to us that we neglect the value of communing with God through prayer because we are so tired from work?

• Jesus knows that prayer is His priority and He enjoys it. (see Luke 5:16)

Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness and prayed. I love how Paul Washer exegete this verse. He says that people often slip away or sneak away to the things they most enjoy. And for Jesus, He often slips away to do what – to pray. He knows that praying, to commune with His Father, is His priority and He is not doing it for duty’s sake but because He enjoys and He loves to be with His Father. Let me quote Paul Washer in what he said in one of his sermons:Real love for Christ is demonstrated not in the advancement of power but in retreating in communion to be with Him.

Isn’t it a rebuke that we often sneak away to do the thing we enjoy the most and that is not praying? If we say that we love God, how much do we enjoy praying to Him?

• Jesus retreats Himself through praying. (see Mark 1:35)

Jesus’ time is different from ours now. Today we have so much work to do and though we are thankful for the advancement of technology that enables us to do multi-tasking we often find 24 hours not enough for a day. We are too busy to pray.

Are we really busier than Jesus? I don’t think so. Read the Gospels and you’ll see how busy Jesus was. He can’t even have a break because people are always following Him. After teaching in the synagogue, after healing Simon’s mother, at sundown the whole city gathered there waiting for Jesus to minister unto them. I wonder at what time Jesus stopped ministering to take a nap. And while others are still sleeping, while it is still dark, Jesus again departed to a desolate place to PRAY.

Isn’t it a rebuke that because we are so tired and because of lack of sleep we sacrifice our time of prayer to take a rest? But Jesus retreats Himself in His Father’s presence.

• Jesus teaches the necessity of prayer. (see Luke 18:1)

When Jesus taught this parable, He stressed the necessity of praying always. The disciples have experienced to be with Jesus; they have witnessed that the life of Jesus is a life of prayer and that is maybe the very reason why in Luke 11:1, after Jesus prayed a disciple asked Him to teach them how to pray. They, the disciples who are far greater than us in witnessing and communing with God, have seen how devoted Jesus was in prayer that they wanted to imitate Him. They have grasped that they ought to pray always.

Martin Luther says that "I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer."

Isn’t it a rebuke that we are so much bothered on many things but we often take them to the Lord in prayer?

• Jesus emphasizes the importance of prayer in the Christian walk. (see Luke 22:40)

A. W. Pink says that prayer is not so much an act as it is an attitude—an attitude of dependency, dependency upon God. We are so weak yet the battle is so fierce, not just the battle in this world but most is the battle within ourselves. Let us be honest with ourselves, we fail whenever we take a step in this Christian walk by our own effort. We find it harder to do the things we want to if we do them on our own; we even sin and fall into the temptation.

Jaci Velasquez’ song entitled On My Knees says: See I don’t know how, but there’s power When I’m on my knees.

Isn’t it a rebuke that we often wonder why we fail and we condemn ourselves for our failures but we neglect the power that is supposed to be in us if we just pray to God?

As this truth impacts greatly in my life, I used this also as my topic when the youth asked me to lead their devotion. While I was preparing for this topic, I looked at my concordance to search for more passages about prayer and I found a passage I know I have read before, maybe many times before, but as I read it that day, it was as if it was the first time I learned about that passage. It really blessed my heart and may it also speak to you:

What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us whenever we pray to Him? (Deuteronomy 4:7)

(picture is taken from http://searchwarp.com/UserImages/CB6_prayer.jpg)

The Almost Forgotten Principle

We always remind ourselves of being contented - to always give thanks to God in everything we have and in every circumstance we may be into. We know comforting words such as “God will provide”, “God will never leave nor forsake me”, “The Lord is my Shepherd”, etc.

I know these words in my heart and I always pray for contentment. I always try to remind myself Matthew 6:34. But I do admit that whenever life presses hard against me, I become anxious. I may not be as worried as a freak yet there are some words and actions I do and utter that I now realize don’t glorify God.

Thanks be to God for our Com-Com (Communicating with the Godly my Communion with God) last July 16-17. It was themed “My Need of Poverty”. Striking passage during that night of devotion was Hebrews 13:5-6: Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

I was deeply moved by God; He reminded me of the principle He has taught me. From time to time God has taught me to trust Him. One of the first few verses I learned when God called me was Matthew 6:33. Since 1997, God has indeed been my Provider. His providence and His divine intervention in my life is very evident that I lack nothing. Majority of the things I possess are blessings from others; I seldom buy my own stuffs. Elementary up to college years, stuffs needed just come on time. God has raised me to really depend on Him and to trust His providence. I did not grow in a rich family; in fact, I witnessed how we suffered from poverty and injustices that I even promised myself to gain all I could have and avenged my family. But thanks be to God; He found me. I am not rich now; however, I live a carefree life because my God sustains me.

But deception works in a very fraudulent way (otherwise it is not deception anymore). Nonetheless, nothing can be hidden when exposed to the illumination of the Word of God. I never thought that discontentment and anxiety have crept into my heart. Let me share what God has revealed to me that night and how this truth reminds me of my almost forgotten principle:

THE WARNING: Keep your lives free from the love of money

This seems to be a very simple command, don’t love money for the love of it is the root of all evils (I Timothy 6:10). In King James Version, it says: Let your conversation be without covetousness. NIV refers to living while KJV means conversation; NIV warns against the love of money while KJV against covetousness. I was puzzled by the different terms my NIV and the KJV use so I consulted some versions and commentaries. They do not contradict each other. Conversation is part of our living and covetousness is rooted from the love of money. This text is a matter of lifestyle, of conversation, of living. You can not say that you don’t love money yet your lifestyle and your words manifest covetousness. Therefore, covetousness is there because the love of money is there.

Does that mean when I utter “Your shoes are cute. I hope I can have one also.” is dangerous especially when in fact I still have one I can use? Yes, it is. It somehow shows the desire of the heart. Ouch! But I thank God for such a rebuke from His word.


THE ANTIDOTES:

The remaining part of the text provides the antidotes for this covetousness which is rooted from the love of money.

• Be content with what you have

Contentment in God is not just a matter of being happy while single or praising God though suffering. It involves money matters; material things are integrated here. Think of the disciples, who among them live luxuriously? Does anyone of them desire more than enough (yes, it is Judas alone and look what happened to him)? Think of our forefathers in faith. They were great men of God who are living contentedly in the Lord; they have put money in its proper place. They care not about material things.

You desire for more stuffs because you are not contented with what you presently have. You want more because the heart deceitfully says you need more. You want more because you see others have more. You see others have them more because you can not see that you have enough. You can not see that you have them enough because you are not contented with what you have.

• Trust God’s promise

In our text, God has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. In Deuteronomy 29:5, God tells the Israelites, “I have led you forty years in the wilderness. Your clothes have not worn out on you, and your sandals have not worn off your feet.” Wow! This is such a guidance and providence of God. Here and many more passages testify that our God is our Jehovah Jireh. So on which between this two do you stand: God deprives you of what you want or He gives you what He sees you need? Your answer determines your heart and your view of your God. This is another sharp knife that exposes the deception I clung.

In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus reminds not to worry. He exemplifies how God cares for the sparrows and utters Are you not much more valuable than they?(v.26b). He mentions how the lilies are clothed and warns that the pagans run after all these things (foods and clothing or safe to say temporal things), and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. Our Father in heaven knows what we need, all these things that we need shall be added unto us. Let us trust His promise.

• Boldly declare “The Lord is my Helper”

The Lord is glorified when we depend on Him, when nothing we hold but Him. He who is contented with what he has does not only trust God who never leaves nor forsakes him but also declares boldly and confidently that God is his helper.

But you can not boldly declare unto the world that the Lord is your Helper if words that come out of your heart reflect covetousness and if your lifestyle denies contentment. Who will believe your message if you also contradict it with your living? Do you really trust God when you are anxious? Are you contented when you always utter “deficiency”? Do you not love money when your conversation is full of material things?

Moments of how I grumble due to scarcity, praises I garnered because of glut fashion, even utterance of the desire for some unnecessary things suddenly flash back into my memory that I yearn to shrink out of shame. I have proven how faithful God is especially in providing my needs yet how come I forgot that with the way I live now. Praise be to God for His Word that strengthens a crooked thinking and living. Glory to God for reminding me of this passage before lies totally kick it off from my heart. I thank God for the Com-Com He used to lead me unto the right path again; I thank God for our speaker that night for using him. Praise and honor and glory to God!

“Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.” (Pro 30:7-9)

This is the prayer of Agur and the text during our Com-Com. This is my prayer also. May it also be your prayer.

(photo is from http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/11_04/KeysDM_468x504.jpg)