When Waiting is...Overtime

For how many years, I am being asked with questions such as "Are you already married?", "When are you going to settle down?" or "Do you already have kids?" Questions I first answer with a smile and utter, "It's not yet the will of God." I am already 28, never had the chance to have a boyfriend. And because of that, I have received different comments. Some thought I'm choosy; others just concluded that I am celibate.

But for the knowledge of others, I do wait. I wait for him whom I can be called "his suitable partner". I wait to see someone beside me whenever I wake up in the morning; I wait to have someone pray with me when praying becomes so hard for me to do; I wait for someone to complement me and I'll do the same with him. But the waiting has been so long; it is, if not seen through the eyes of a child of God.

Singleness is not a curse nor a burden. I enjoy many opportunities of serving the Lord because I am single. I Corinthians 7:13 says "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord — how he may please the Lord." I praise God that though I am single, He has provided me with so many blessings that waiting becomes trusting and thanking moment for His glory.

Singleness is not a hindrance for raising kids

I do not need to wait for marriage and for my kids so I could train and nurture them into the knowledge of God. God Himself has abundantly blessed me with so many ways of being a godly and Biblical mother. You can have a family by faith. John Piper exhorts, "if a single woman turns without bitterness and regret from the absence of her own family and gives herself to creating God's family in the church, she will find a flowering for her womanhood in ways never dreamed of, and Christ will be uniquely honored.”

Singleness is not a hindrance to complement men

Man and woman are created by God to complement each other. But no need to wait until marriage to complement a man. There are men at home and in the church whom you can guide and help. I thank God that I have a male best friend, brothers and friends in Christ who give me the chance to practice my Biblical role. They guide and mold me and I also have the chances to complement them in one way or another.

Singleness teaches total dependence on God

I do not say that married men and women are not dependent on God. But there is a different encounter with God once you learn to cling to God more than anyone and anything else, especially during moments when you are being deceived of being alone. God shows Himself to be very much available for you and that He certainly fills any longing of the heart. You will also learn to embrace His will and enjoy His sovereignty; and that will teach you the freedom and dependence on Him.

You will also learn that marriage is just here on earth; it is just temporary. Your forever husband is the Lord. Isaiah 54:5 says, "For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth."

Singleness opens an avenue of focused ministry

This is the point of Paul in saying that the only focus of unmarried is the Lord. Some young married women in our church talk about how they wanted to join some of the ministries but they have no one to look for their kids or that they can't devote their whole time for they may be worrying about their homes. If you are unmarried, you have no other concern than to please the Lord (I Cor. 7:13).

Don't get me wrong again. I acknowledge the different ministry being cared by mothers. They have their homes as their primary place of serving God.


Single men and women, like me, should never look marriage as something that will make us whole. Christ is our contentment, whether married or single. Let us serve the Lord with gladness of the heart and with total dependence. The definition of true womanhood doesn't lie in marrying.

Lastly, I just wanna share John Piper's words:

"Married womanhood has its unique potential for magnifying Christ that single womanhood does not have. Single womanhood has its unique potential for magnifying Christ which married womanhood does not have.

So whether you marry or remain single, do not settle for a wimpy theology. It is beneath you. God is too great. Christ is too glorious. True womanhood is too strategic. Don’t waste it. Your womanhood—your true womanhood—was made for the glory of Jesus Christ."